A Calçotada Survival Guide
If you visit Barcelona in the next month or two, you might see streets full of tables and chairs, with a big barbecue at the end of it.
But wait, what are those things on the top of the barbecue? You might well ask. Are those oversized spring onions? Is this a vegetarian barbecue?
At first glance, the calçotada might seem strange to outsiders. But then this can be said of several other Catalan festivals and customs.
This, after all, is the region of Castells. Human towers soaring into the sky, with tiny kids – who you suspect have only recently learned how to walk – ascending all the way to the top.
It’s also a region where the responsibility of delivering presents at Christmas falls not to Santa, but to a wooden log with a smiley face, who kids threaten to beat with sticks if he doesn’t deliver.
My first calçotada
So perhaps the calçotada – an early spring festival where Catalans come together to eat oversized spring onions (called calçots) – isn’t that odd after all.
My first calçotada experience was a few years ago. It wasn’t in the street, but in a friend’s cellar. Which, you won’t be surprised to learn, isn’t really advisable. If you plan to light a rather large fire – a fire big enough to barbecue hundreds of oversized spring onions – it’s probably safer to do it outside in the open air.
In fact, that’s more or less exactly the advice that the firemen and police gave us when they arrived at my friend’s house. They’d been called by several worried neighbours complaining about thick plumes of smoke steadily emerging from a garage door down the street.
“Don’t worry officer. Everything’s under control. This is just a friendly neighbourhood calçotada. Would you like some? Are you sure? OK, thanks for stopping by. Yes of course we’ll keep the door open.”
How to eat calçots
When the calçots are cooked, you can’t eat them immediately as you need to remove the charred bit on the outside. It’s for this reason that everybody at a calçotada has black fingers. Some (me) more than others.
Catalans can perform the calçot-skinning action in a matter of seconds with their thumb and index finger. Just like that. Whoosh. Easy.
Then, the done thing is to dip the calçot in romesco sauce, before attempting to devour it in one go.
I think a calçotada is a pretty good example of one of the differences in the culture of eating in Spain and the UK. When I first arrived in Barcelona I’d try to use my knife and fork for everything. Whether it was removing mussels from shells or dissecting langoustines. But I soon realised that my Catalan friends would use their hands for these tasks, and that it worked much, much better that way.
Embrace the mess
The calçot is similar. It’s pretty messy, but you have to use your hands. They’ll be covered in charcoal and romesco sauce by the end of it. But there’s nothing for it. You just have to embrace it.
That’s not to say there won’t be a few embarrassing moments too, however.
I remember being introduced to somebody just at the exact moment I was holding a calçot precariously above my nose, romesco sauce dripping onto my chin. Trying to calculate how long it would take me to eat it and then introduce myself, before deciding against it and setting the calçot back down on the plate.
“Don’t you like calçots, Tom?”
“Que va? What are you saying? I love them. I just don’t quite have the technique down yet. Thanks again for inviting me over. Oh, and by the way, when are you serving the meat?”
Yes. There is meat too. After the calçots are finished. So don’t fear if it turns out you’re not such a big fan of the onions themselves.
If you’re in Barcelona in the spring, I really recommend that you keep a lookout for a neighbourhood calçotada. It’s a great way to be less of a guiri (tourist) and to try to get to know some of the locals.
Lots of restaurants serve the onions at this time of year. But personally I think that such a rustic, messy food should be eaten in the street, sat on a plastic chair, with an ice cold can of Estrella to wash them down.
Oh, and maybe some wet wipes too. Take some with you.